Surviving the holidays - finding calm in the chaos!
/Although many of us say we look forward to the holidays, and some of us genuinely do, studies have shown that stress does increase during the holiday season. It might be the stress related to balancing commitments while trying to shop, decorate the house, attend your grandchild’s school play, pack for travel, or preparing meals and entertaining. Or, it could be piling on a layer or two by adding in the pain of any personal transition like surviving loss, facing the holidays alone, spending your first season without a loved one who has passed away, or a recent breakup which changes much of what we have come to expect. Even if your life in this season of time is going smoothly, there are simply more demands on your time.
What are some tips for staying calm and intentional through the holidays?
Here are five ways I bring myself back to center:
Have a plan.
A plan provides some stability, a container of sorts that can bring you through the toughest of times. Look at the month ahead and literally plan out what needs to be done, what is essential, and if you have capacity over and above the “must do’s”, put in some of the 'nice to do's'. Some people prefer high level, big-picture plans, and others do better with day by day detailed schedules. Do what feels right for you.
Keep it simple.
Holiday traditions have provided habits and ways of doing things, but in your first season after a major personal upheaval, or if you just want to change things up, creating some new traditions may take away some of the stress. If you always go somewhere or do one particular thing, do something else - change up the menu, order in pizza, adjust how much and who to buy for, volunteer at a food bank or give of yourself in some way. Opt-out of whatever feels heavy!
Give yourself grace and compassion.
We are often our own worst enemy - piling on the guilt and shame and remorse when what we really needed is kindness. Give yourself the space to feel the stress, to feel into what might be causing it. Allow yourself to say no, and not feel guilty, to take a pass on the family dinner, because it just might take too much energy. Taking a hot bath, walking outside, physical movement of any kind, and good sleep are just some of the ways to care for ourselves. Oh, and be mindful of what you are fueling your body with! What are your best self-care go-to’s?
Give yourself FULL permission to do whatever you feel like doing.
Allow yourself to pay attention to what fills you up and what drains you emotionally - people, friends, family, traditions, events, activities. Only do what feels positive, what lifts you up, or at the minimum keeps you neutral. Don't dip into the negative. How do you connect with the inner voice that gives you this clarity?
Practice Mindfulness
Maybe this should be at the beginning of the list because it is so important. Stay present. If you are at the mall shopping, BE there. If you are creating a guest list, BE there. If you are in a yoga class and moving your body, and taking good care of yourself, BE there. Wherever you are, BE there. That is mindfulness. You can up the game by meditating, journaling, and having a gratitude practice, but for now, just find yourself where you are, and this season, too, shall pass.
Have a safe and intentional holiday season!
